random poem that just popped out in creative writing today, it’s about agoraphobia/social phobia/anxiety and ptsd. Think I’m gonna just make a side blog for all my writing and art so I don’t bug you guys with so many text posts haha.

Faces become blurred in the crowd/but I hope that I don’t stand out and that I’m not too loud/Sweaty palms, while trying to stay calm/each voice effects me stronger than a bomb/Just leaving the house reminds me of Nam/Increasing heart palpitations/ while I notice my crumbling foundation/I’m loosing my patience/My whole vessel is struck with panic/My hair stands up, as if effected by static/I resort to a catatonic state/This will be the death of me, this is my fate

Gazing deep into the abyss/ made me realize that ignorance is bliss/ I’m face to face with my own shadow/ it’s the only way to end this battle/ superego is in full control/ trying to bury the shadow deep into my soul./

Random poem that just came out during my psych class

Shit, would someone care to proof read about 3 poems? I’m entering a contest and I dunno which one I should choose 

random thoughts …

things always change, but in someways stay the same/I define myself, then redefine, all the time/I always second guess, life’s a game of chess/sometimes I feel like the queen, sometimes I feel like the pawn/either way I can loose this game fast then I’m gone..I wish I could stop thinking/to save myself from sinking/then I’ll be free/Only then I’ll be me

I feel like I’m living in the future/because the present goes by so fast/sometimes the present is bitter/so I choose to live in the past/I want to live in the moment/but to do that I need intent/you need to see/sometimes the future scares me/because I don’t know what it holds/but other days I like what the future unfolds

I’m really trying hard not to be like you/I’m sorry to say you’re something I don’t want to turn into/I try not to repeat your mistakes/I doubt myself I don’t know if I got what it takes/I see a glimpse off my future and it makes me ache…Mistake after mistake, same mistakes repeated/It makes me feel conceited, ashamed, defeated…I’ll always love you, regardless of how much you put me through. Sometimes I feel the only way to succeed, is to just straight pack up and leave. I guess it just hurts me to see you this way..and that’s just really what I wish I could say.