Anxiety creeps up on me every now and then to remind me that this isn’t what I want. I want to live, not just survive.
-.- what is there to life in this society? material objects, trying to get this, and get that? Working hard to be the person other people want me to be? It sucks because I honestly can’t think of anything I really want (material wise) I don’t really care about new shoes, a car (would be nice to drive to other cities though) name brand shit or a new game console or this or that. I just don’t really care. So what the hell am I going to do? Get a job for the money, when I don’t even care about it? and just sit around and wait to die. I know for a fact I wont even find a companion in this state, hell I don’t even really believe in relationships/marriage.. I just wanna find something worthy of dying for, something to be passionate about, and I don’t think I found it yet. W.e starting my other long ass paper now, so I probably wont wait around to die I probably will just want to xD
I used to hate chameleons with a passion, but now I just feel really bad for them. Can you imagine trying to keep up with a ton of shows and bands and things you don’t even like to try and impress each person you hang out with? Or if you’re with a group of people, and having to decide which one to shun in order to keep your reputation up? The one person this kid knew forever shunned the kid he knew almost his whole life, and who always had his back just to keep up with a temporary acquaintance. Fuck you. I could never live to try and impress everyone else and put a new face on each day. I always thought I didn’t really know who I was but that’s only because I’m still not done creating myself and I never will be, none of us will. But I’m definitely not that lost. I feel bad, do those types of people lay awake at night wondering who the hell they are? Do they like things that no ones heard of? Do they have an amazing talent no one knows about? Or do they not even know what to like or how to be each day? What the fuck do they think about? They’re just everyone else, not even them and it’s sad to think how many people live to be like other people to impress them. It really is a waste of a person. Who the fuck are you? We’ll never know. You’re a good actor though.
banning all guns won’t stop criminals from getting them. how many addicts do you know who do illegal drugs? what will protect us from someone with a gun? it sucks that people use them in the wrong way and we even need them to protect ourselves in the first place but look around, the worlds fucked up and criminals will always get their dirty paws on shit. banning guns will just cause more problems. if someone really wanted to hurt someone, they wouldn’t even need a gun, but the point is now a days we need them for protection. no one really mentions a lot of the people who kill other people are on SSRIS. Side effects from those can make people feel 10X worse than they already do, causing suicidal thoughts, increased feelings of depression and anxiety, dissociative disorders, memory loss, cognitive disorders and loss of contact with reality, lack of emotion, and tends to turn them into an empty shell. They get prescribed to people all the time, and most of the people don’t have a chemical imbalance, they’re just depressed due to life. I’m not defending these people, I know that some are just fucking insane and disgusting, but I know the drugs in no way helped them and its a horrible idea to give to a child, who’s brain isn’t even fully developed yet. The withdrawal from those medications can seriously cause someone to even act insane, and doctors take them off of them in a blink of an eye. Imagine a child who isn’t all there, who’s depressed, suicidal, has a tough life, whatever, then imagine them going through withdrawal, increased thoughts of suicide, vomiting, shitting, chills, shocks to their brain, of course shit is going to go down even if they’re not insane.
where i live is so pathetic..or maybe i am..i suck at being a loser and suck at being a winner..im not even good at being a loser..im in the middle like with everything else..just fucking mediocre..im too smart to be stupid but too stupid to be smart
kids only hang out with each other to use each other. and only hang out with people who do drugs or have them..
idk i can become popular real fast if i wanted its too easy to imitate .but i just want some more cool friends..but theyre hard to find..w.e im happy for the ones i got…just wish this place was more aliive i guess
its crazy when you think about it, we dont really know anyone and no one really knows us..we never can really tell what someones thinking or how someone feels..no one is completely honest, not even to themselves. in the end were just alone. we might as well try to get to know ourselves, its the only person we can ever fully know and always be with.
were just walking around in a world full of children in adult bodies
w.e i’m rambling now, I’ve gotten 3 hours of sleep in 3 days, i’m out of it
I just feel like I’m lucid dreaming when I’m awake, things just so obscure, everything, life, especially the life that were lead to believe, how people act. Routines trip me out so badly, haha I really don’t need drugs to trip, I trip out on life everyday. Why does our level of intelligence have to be based on a fucking piece of paper, or numbers? Why does our level of success have to be based on how much money we make or if we have a car or not? All we are our numbers. I know plenty of people who haven’t been to college or even dropped out who are smarter than people with degrees. I really think school is bullshit, we shouldn’t have to pay to get an education anyways, I think all school teaches you is how to fit in, and tell people what they want to hear, now a days if you don’t, they try to label your kid with all different types of bullshit disorders, or try to prescribe them bullshit drugs. I hate how my history class leaves out so much that’s important. They tell us other places leave out massive parts of history, why wouldn’t we do the same? And fuck I hate it when I’m writing and people won’t stop talking to me or blasting music.
This is what I thought about at four in the morning last night when I couldn’t sleep.
Life doesn’t seem real, it’s been tripping me out lately, all the things that are happening around the world, the way people act,the way things are, and all the new discovery’s are like something you’d read from a fiction book. I really don’t think this life is real, I sort of just think it’s just an illusion or a dream. Sometimes my dreams seem more real than life. I dunno, I believe in reincarnation and I don’t believe in heaven or hell, I think we choose where we want to be born just for the experience and I believe the soul is something that is endless. My thought of that also trips me out though, to think that WE are endless, I dunno think about it, it’s estimated that there are hundreds of billions of galaxies in the universe, endless. Were smaller than a microscopic bacteria floating in the ocean compared to the universe.
Just thoughts/ideas/opinions, :p if you disagree no need to bash me, but I’m interested in reading others thoughts about life and death.
you know…i really don’t think death should be celebrated…regardless of how horrible the person is…it goes to show just how sick and barbaric humanity is…and people keep complaining about a lot of shit…the worlds in our hands dudes its up to us to change it, if you got that whole ‘shits going nowhere attitude’ you know where shits going to go? think positively, stop focusing on the bad, think about good shit happening, become a better person, please don’t make our species look this ignorant and disgusting…ahh…
“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one - not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate - adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”— Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (via illauren)